Siiiiigh. So. Apparently I can’t write anymore or something :/ So you know, I’m just writing things down so I’ll hopefully get back my words soon again. Hopefully. Maybe. If I’m lucky :|
I’m sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.
It was cold outside of Dalton, a chilly breeze whipping his hair and his clothes, and Logan shivered as he pulled his coat tighter around his body. Looking around, he noticed the smoke even before he walked into them—the dirty grey mass curling up into the air and languidly fading away. His eyes followed the smoke for a while, watching as it flew up in the late afternoon sky, and he wondered what he was supposed to do now. What he was supposed to say and how he was supposed to help.
The uncertainty and the dread were so strong, the thought of turning around and pretending he never came here flitted briefly through his mind… But no. He would not turn his back on his friends. Not now. Not when they needed help—his help—so much.
Taking a deep breath, Logan rounded the corner. The smell of the cigarettes became almost tangible in the air—drifting in his nostrils and making his stomach recoil in disgust and bad memories—and he was greeted with the sight of Julian and Sebastian. The two old friends were sitting next to each other, perched on the cold stone tiles and staring absently into space.
Logan’s eyes flickered when he saw the cigarette dangling between Julian’s lips, and his gaze darted to Sebastian, demanding an explanation. Sebastian merely looked up at him with one eyebrow raised, as if to ask the prefect what the hell he was doing here. Julian didn’t react at all, kept lying against his Parisian friend, his eyes closed and his expression stressed.
After a few seconds of silent battling, Logan broke the eye-contact with Sebastian and crouched down next to the actor. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Julian’s eyes snapped open, not as bright and sharp as usual, the edges frayed with something foggy and intangible. He lifted the cigarette from his lips, giving Logan a long, sad look, making shivers run down the blond’s spine.
“Leave me alone, Logan,” Julian whispered, and Logan winced when his voice cracked at the end.
His voice was a lot nicer when he talked this time. “Jules… You hate smoking, remember?” Logan held out his hand. “Give me the cigarette.”
Sebastian slipped his arm around Julian’s waist, pulling him closer and glaring harshly at Logan. “Let him be, Wright.”
Green eyes flickered furiously. “Did I even talk to you, jackass?” Logan snarled, his blazing expression softening when he looked back at Julian. “Hey Jules…”
“Didn’t you hear him? He wants to be left alone,” Sebastian sneered. “He doesn’t want your help.”
Julian sighed, closed his eyes. Smoke escaped through his lips when he exhaled and it twirled up in the darkening sky. He stared at it as if hypnotized, following its path until it dissolved in the air.
Logan ignored Sebastian—no matter how much he wanted to hurt the new transfer, it would have to wait, because Julian was sitting here, looking broken and hurt and sad, and it was all he could concentrate on. He extended a hand to his best friend, squeezing his arm gently. “What’s wrong, Jules?”
“Nothing,” Julian mumbled, but he shifted a little so that he was leaning away from Sebastian and more against Logan. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“He had a nightmare,” Sebastian hissed venomously, his angry glare set on Logan. “But you don’t care anyway, so just leave, Wright. I’ve got it.”
Logan glanced at him for a brief moment—aggravated, impatient and repressing the urge to hurt him—before throwing an arm over Julian’s shoulders and hugging him against him. “Julian—” he pried the cigarette from the actor’s fingers, ignoring Julian’s curses of protest. “Let go, Julian—” When he finally managed to snatch the cigarette away, he squashed it out on the tiles, wafting away the smoke.
“What happened, Julian?” Logan asked quietly, reaching up and tucking back a lock of brown hair. His thumb caressed the actor’s cheek for a split second and Julian leaned into the touch tiredly.
Julian pressed his lips together, shaking his head and looking down at the ground. “Nothing. It was just a stupid, stupid nightmare,” he heaved a shaky sigh and Logan’s heart broke when he saw tears form in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I should really stop doing this—”
“J—” Sebastian leaned forward, clearly having every intention to lock Julian in his arms—but Logan was faster, knew exactly how to comfort his best friend now, knew exactly what to do.
“You’re alright, Jules,” Logan whispered, pulling Julian against him and pressing a soft kiss in his hair. “These nightmares are happening less and less, right? You’re going to be alright.”
Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Logan, but his own concern shone through when he glanced down at the actor.
Julian wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck and nuzzled his face in his friend’s shoulder. He took trembling breaths, trying to calm himself down, but obviously failing. “I’m tired,” he whispered, voice hoarse with tears and exhaustion.
“Come on, I’ll bring you to bed,” Logan breathed, lifting Julian easily when he stood up.
Sebastian got to his feet too, protesting when Logan started to walk off. “Hey—wait for second—!”
“Sebastian,” Logan snapped, turning around and sending the full force of his blazing green eyes his way. “Could you please fuck off now? You fucking sit there doing nothing while Julian ruins his lungs and his health, and you call yourself a friend? You call yourself fucking helpful? You’re—”
Sebastian narrowed his eyes to slits and advanced on Logan, keeping his voice down to not upset Julian any further. “So you do call yourself his friend? I know what happened between you and Julian, Wright, I know all about the immense amount of hurt you brought him. And you have the fucking nerve to call yourself his friend?”
Logan’s expression was so ferocious, Sebastian actually took a little step backwards. The prefect hugged Julian closer to his body as he hissed back, his voice low and dangerous and soaked in emotions.
“Don’t you fucking mess with me, Smythe. I may have missed the fact that my best friend’s been in love with me for three years, but I do know him—better, way better than you do. He may have told you things and he may have talked to you—but you didn’t live with him for more than three years. You don’t know every last thing about him—the things that make him annoying and prissy as hell, and the things that make him good and warm and brilliant.” Logan almost growled the words, so pissed off and so intensely furious that he didn’t even care Julian woke up because of it, didn’t even notice the way Julian’s fingers were digging in his coat and skin. “And you’re going to stay here and I don’t care if you freeze to death, but you’re going to stay here and stay the fuck away from Julian. Because if I see you smoking with him again—if I see you lay your disgusting, filthy paws on him again—I’m going to kick your pathetic ass all the way back to fucking Paris. Do you fucking understand me?”
Sebastian was pale and shaking with repressed anger, but Julian was holding Logan so tightly and he was looking so much better—and Sebastian knew how much the actor loved the prefect, how much he still loved him—that he couldn’t actually do anything. Not here. Not right now.
When Sebastian’s reaction stayed out, Logan hoisted Julian up a little higher and turned around resolutely, leaving the fuming Parisian behind without a second thought. Logan tilted his head, letting it rest against Julian’s, and whispered soothing nothing-words in his ear.
It was nice, being this close to the brunet, holding him in his arms like this. It felt nice, and it felt right. And maybe, maybe—if Julian would still be upset and if the angry feelings towards Sebastian were still lingering in his mind—Logan would lie down next to Julian in his bed, holding him while the actor would try to sleep.
After all… anything to keep the nightmares away.